Safe Sex(ting)

               According to CBS News, a new study shows that almost 80 percent of college students have received sexual text messages, and more than half of all college students have received sexual images via text messaging. But did you know that ten percent of the sexual texts were forwarded to friends without the consent of the person who originally sent the message? Kind of a scary thought.

In high school, every year our last volleyball practice before homecoming weekend, my coach would always give us his famous “homecoming speech” and every year he would say the same thing, “If you aren’t going to be smart, at least don’t be stupid” and that is exactly the moto I will use for this post.

                              Yes, as I am sure some of you know, each state has their own laws and viewpoints on sexting and age and the content of the message and blah blah blah. However, that is not what I am here to talk to you about. Because quite frankly, it is not my business whether you engage in sexting and you probably do not care if I think you should or should not do it. What I am here to do is inform you on the risks and hopefully convince you make smarter choices if you choose to sext.

               Because most college students are not yet looking for “the one”, they filter through relationships quite rapidly. Because of this, with each new relationship one may have, they want to feel a sense of belonging. So they are sharing more of themselves with people they are still getting to know. But once they click that 'send' button, who knows where else the message will end up?

               If you do choose to send explicit text messages or picture to someone else, please wait until you have built a strong relationship full of care and trust. Don’t send anything revealing to someone you are still getting to know. I have not experienced this personally but I do know of a couple people who decided to send photos to people they thought they could trust only to find out that now the entire school has seen it. It is a serious issue that affected them both mentally and emotionally and I never want to see that happen to anyone else.

               One last thing to keep in mind while sexting, there is always the possibility of what you send going public. We know you’ve heard the lecture before, “don’t send anything you wouldn’t want your mom to see” and as annoying as it is, it’s sadly a rather valid statement. BUT it is understood that some occasions call for a little something special, and when those occasions arise it’s best to be safe rather than sorry. Think before you send.

               And my final words on this highly controversial and widely discussed topic that has many views on it, if you choose to sext, if you aren’t going to be smart about it, just don’t be stupid.

 

Reference:

"Sexts" all the rage among college students. (n.d.). Retrieved March 01, 2016, from http://www.cbsnews.com/news/sexts-all-the-rage-among-college-students/

Creating a Sexually Healthy Relationship

Having sex can raise the intensity of emotions that people feel for each other — whether you’re in a serious or casual relationship. Creating a sexually healthy relationship is key to success in any (sexual) partnership. By NO means am I saying that sex is essential to a successful relationship but if you and your significant other are sexually active, healthy sex is key.

According to Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), “A sexually healthy relationship is a relationship based on shared values and has five characteristics; consensual, nonexploitative, honest, mutually pleasurable, and protected against unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections”. (An Innovation to Health p. 255)

If you are in a sexual relationship, does it have these five characteristics? If not, consider them and I am sure it will make you two grow stronger.

Communication is vital in a sexually healthy relationship, even though these discussions may be awkward for some. If you have a need or a problem that relates to your partner, it is your responsibility to bring it up. If you are not comfortable talking to your partner, how are you going to be comfortable enough having sex with them?

 As I stated earlier, the ability to communicate openly is the secret to a healthy and happy sexual relationship. Here are some specific suggestions of what to talk about:

Choose an appropriate time and place for an intimate discussion. Choose a private place where you are familiar with and feel comfortable being and choose a time you can give each other your full attention.

Ask open-ended questions that require further explanation. Be sure you are able to follow up and keep the conversation going. Begin questions with sayings such as, “How do you feel about…?” and “What are your thoughts about…?”

If you would like to try something different, than say so. Don’t force the issue but do try talking it through. If you want to request changes or tackle a touchy topic, start with positive statements. Let your partner know how much you enjoy having sex with them. Then express your intentions of enjoying it even more in different and more exciting ways.

Reference:
Hales, D (2015). An Invitation to Health The Power of Now. Canada: CENGAGE Learning.

Get The Yes Before You Undress

For my first blog entry I am going to write about the importance of consensual sex. It is very important to understand the concept of consent and I am here to discuss specific topics that should be strongly considered when making the decision to have sex especially if it is with a new partner.

 First things first, are you both sober? That is a very important factor. Consent can only be given by a person who has control of his or her mental capacities, is not drunk or high, and is legally in position to give consent. While intoxicated your thought process and ability to make smart decisions is obviously absent. If you choose to have sex while drunk especially with a partner who is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, be aware that they can potentially use their drunkenness against you with a lawsuit. Believe it or not, this does in fact happen. I have a friend who is dealing with this right now. Your partner may say yes at the time but will argue in court that they were not in the right state to make decisions. Be careful who you trust.

According to EIU’s Sexual Consent and Assault webpage, “Consent is deemed incapable of being given if the person's physical and/or mental control is markedly diminished as the result of alcohol, other drugs, illness, injury, or any other reason”.
  Next, are there TWO (preferably enthusiastic) yes’s? It’s quite simple, yes means yes and no means no. Silence does not mean consent. Feel free to slow down and talk about it if you are sensing mixed emotions or messages about it. Make sure that each of you feel comfortable enough to say yes or no without threats or blackmail. Also, consent does not count if one has to be talked into it.

Always keep in mind that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Everybody has the right to change his or her mind at any point and the partner should respect that.

I know most of you think this is all common sense and you are old enough now to know what consent is, and you are right. It shouldn’t be hard yet some people make it that way. If you are unsure of what your partner is feeling, you have two choices. I suggest option one which is assuming it is a no and to take more time to decide whether sex is going to willingly happen between you two. Or option two (which I don’t suggest) and that is taking a guess. With this, you risk being accused of “rape” and essentially can become a convicted criminal. Is it worth it? That is what makes this a difficult subject.

My advice to you, don’t risk it. If at any time before sex you are unsure of how your partner is feeling, just simply ask. It is not a difficult task. Having to refrain from sex for one night is much better than being wrongly accused.


Reference:
Sexual Assault and Consent. (n.d.). Retrieved February 19, 2016, from http://www.eiu.edu/sexualassaultresources/sexual assault and consent.php

Introduction

Hello class, My name is Jenna Rossi and I am a sophomore here at EIU. I am a Community Health major and I love everything about it.

I  chose Sex Health as my topic because we are entering young adulthood and for most of us, sex will begin to become more prevalent in our lives. Sex is a commonly thought about topic however, do you often think about healthy sex? If the answer to your question is no, then you came to the right place. With each post I will have a different topic to write about that is dealing with Sex Health and Wellness.

I hope you enjoy my posts and I look forward to reading all of yours!