For my first blog entry I am going to write about the
importance of consensual sex. It is very important to understand the concept of consent and I am here to
discuss specific topics that should be strongly considered when making the
decision to have sex especially if it is with a new partner.
First things first, are you both sober? That
is a very important factor. Consent can only be given by a person who
has control of his or her mental capacities, is not drunk or high, and is
legally in position to give consent. While intoxicated your thought process and ability to make smart
decisions is obviously absent. If you choose to have sex while drunk especially
with a partner who is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, be aware that they can
potentially use their drunkenness against you with a lawsuit. Believe it or
not, this does in fact happen. I have a friend who is dealing with this right
now. Your partner may say yes at the time but will argue in court that they
were not in the right state to make decisions. Be careful who you trust.
According to EIU’s Sexual Consent and Assault webpage, “Consent is deemed incapable of being given if the person's physical and/or mental control is markedly diminished as the result of alcohol, other drugs, illness, injury, or any other reason”.
Next, are there TWO (preferably enthusiastic) yes’s? It’s quite simple, yes means yes and no means no. Silence does not mean consent. Feel free to slow down and talk about it if you are sensing mixed emotions or messages about it. Make sure that each of you feel comfortable enough to say yes or no without threats or blackmail. Also, consent does not count if one has to be talked into it.
According to EIU’s Sexual Consent and Assault webpage, “Consent is deemed incapable of being given if the person's physical and/or mental control is markedly diminished as the result of alcohol, other drugs, illness, injury, or any other reason”.
Next, are there TWO (preferably enthusiastic) yes’s? It’s quite simple, yes means yes and no means no. Silence does not mean consent. Feel free to slow down and talk about it if you are sensing mixed emotions or messages about it. Make sure that each of you feel comfortable enough to say yes or no without threats or blackmail. Also, consent does not count if one has to be talked into it.
Always keep in
mind that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Everybody has the right to
change his or her mind at any point and the partner should respect that.
I know most of
you think this is all common sense and you are old enough now to know what
consent is, and you are right. It shouldn’t be hard yet some people make it
that way. If you are unsure of what your partner is feeling, you have two
choices. I suggest option one which is assuming it is a no and to take more
time to decide whether sex is going to willingly happen between you two. Or
option two (which I don’t suggest) and that is taking a guess. With this, you
risk being accused of “rape” and essentially can become a convicted criminal. Is
it worth it? That is what makes this a difficult subject.
My advice to you,
don’t risk it. If at any time before sex you are unsure of how your partner is
feeling, just simply ask. It is not a difficult task. Having to refrain from
sex for one night is much better than being wrongly accused.
Reference:
Sexual Assault and Consent. (n.d.). Retrieved February 19, 2016, from http://www.eiu.edu/sexualassaultresources/sexual assault and consent.php
Reference:
I like how you included personal information along with the importance of consent is essential for sexually intercourse. You followed up my with your friend's personal experience and how it is precise to make these decisions when one is all there mentally, emotionally, and physically.
ReplyDeleteThe information in your post is great. The information tells so much about what "we" as college students go through from being drunk and hanging with the wrong individuals. Although we are all young adults we still do things that are not in our best interest.A person should always have someone around them that is able to watch them just in case they do have to many drinks one night.
ReplyDeleteThe title of your post was really catchy. It is important for both participants to be sober,and I liked how you included that no means no. It was also refreshing to hear that silence doesn't mean yes. I thought it was a very good post,and it was interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I really enjoyed your post! It was very common sense which made it easy to understand and follow! More times than not, we hear about girls stating they have been raped or sexually assaulted but we also need to consider that guys can also be victims. Thanks for the great post!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! I like how you have organized it. Each part stands out and the title is perfect. The student athletes get this talk every year in August and we all laugh at the videos they show us because the guys always seem to make it immature, but in all reality it is serious. This is something that everyone should really understand not only for their own safety, but so they don't get in trouble with the law. Some don't realize they are even doing anything wrong if they are intoxicated and have no control over themselves. Understanding the consequences of not having consent and/or being intoxicated and out of control is very important. One wrong move can really change someones life.
ReplyDeleteI like the title of you post and the post was easy to understand. i like how you stated that it is common sense to know what is consent and what is not consent. This is a very good post and I think that is something more people to need to read about.
ReplyDeleteI like the title of you post and the post was easy to understand. i like how you stated that it is common sense to know what is consent and what is not consent. This is a very good post and I think that is something more people to need to read about.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! you hit all the major topics involved with engaging in sexual relations. Im glad you talked about being sober, getting a solid yes for an answer and that can change at any time. I think that is something that is forgotten, it is ok to say no at any time. nice post!
ReplyDeleteConsent is a topic that goes un-talked about among college students. Many people don't realize that just because someone doesn't say no, doesn't mean they are giving consent. Especially if there is alcohol or drug usage involved. The only way consent can be given is by saying yes! Great post.
ReplyDeleteA clear consensus that sex is wanted is vital for sex to work. Sex can be frustrating for some people so its important not to force or stress the issue. I truly appreciated this post because of its relevance is today's society. Many people deal with pressures from sex so this information was great.
ReplyDelete